Emilie Silverwood-Cope: You’ve got to side with their right to paaaaarty!
My eldest child recently said the words I had been dreading. Of course I knew the day would come but, still, I was unprepared. “Mum,” he said, “can I have a house party?”
There’s only one group of people who like a house party more than 10 Downing Street and that’s 16 and 17-year-olds. They are too young to hit the pubs and too old to stay in on a Friday night so house parties are their only weapon of choice.
As I was weakened by the slog of the lockdown and painfully aware of how much my children have missed out on (some of us obeyed every rule) I said yes.
Let’s face it, the real reason we are worried about letting our teenagers have a party in our homes is because we have been those partying teenagers. The rules of engagement haven’t changed much. They are still all about sneaking in bottles of vodka and getting up to other shenanigans. But we know that house parties are a rite of passage, for our children and for us.
Like Sue Gray, I thought it might be helpful if I shared my post-party report.
Make it invite only
This was something we didn’t have to spell out. Generation Z are digital natives and don’t need lessons on how something can go viral. It is worth agreeing on numbers so they only invite their friends and you don’t wind up with a house full.
Talk about drugs
Teenagers do drugs. Maybe not your teen. Maybe not my teen. But someone’s teen does so you need to have the chat. I recommend getting straight to the point with a clear “no drugs in my house”. I know there are parents out there who think certain drugs are OK. I don’t think it’s worth it because rules will be bent and the last thing you want is someone passed out on ket in your kitchen.
Alcohol
You don’t need to go full Downing Street and get a suitcase of booze but it’s not a bad idea to stock up on some beers. They are likely to arrive pre-loaded. We filled three bin liners full of empty cans and bottles. I recommend hiding your own stuff. If they see it, they will neck it.
Stay home
We know there are people who leave the kids to it. Some will head out for the evening. I’ve even heard of couples who stay away for the whole night. While I admire their confidence I think they are absolutely bananas. You don’t need to be party pooper, but I recommend being on the premises and wandering around casually every hour or whenever you hear a loud crashing noise.
Answer the door
We didn’t do this and it was a rookie error. If you answer the door they know you’re home. That way it’s not a surprise to the ones playing “how many can stand on a kitchen chair” when you poke your head around the door.
Sibling rivalry
While you should stay on site, I wish we had arranged sleepovers for our other children. They are both younger and found it all a bit terrifying and fascinating. Our nine-year-old sat transfixed and wide eyed at the top of the stairs. I had to take him for a walk like a restless dog at 10pm.
Food - line the stomach
We were told they wouldn’t want any food, but we put out crisps and pizza anyway. They may not have wanted anything but they ate it all.
Remember they are children
They might be over six foot tall but add a bit of alcohol and they revert back to being a toddler. Sofas will get jumped on, drinks will get knocked over and someone might even wet himself. Toddler-proof the house accordingly. Remove valuable objects and hide anything they might be tempted by. Our lot ate all the advent calendars and ended the evening with a water fight. To be fair, the water fight made cleaning the kitchen floor a breeze.
Tidying up
The house stank of pheromones and the floor was soaking wet but all in all the damage was limited. A friend said her dog helpfully ate the vomit in the garden. We had to hose a couple of spots down but luckily outside rather than in.
Have fun, vicariously
They spent the evening playing the music we loved from the ’80s and ’90s. All we heard was shouting and singing and laughing. After two years of obeying (every single) lockdown rule and worrying about the impact on our children, it was a joy to hear them. They were lovely, funny, gorgeous and welcome back.
Read more Parenting Truths from Emilie Silverwood-Cope every month in the Cambridge Independent.
