Emilie Silverwood-Cope: Christmas on easy street
Parents have been led to believe that the really magical Christmasses are when your children are small and still excited by the prospect of Father Christmas.
None of my three is any more (ages nine to 17) and you’d be forgiven for thinking this puts the kibosh on Christmas fun. Maybe I should be a little sad about it but the gains far outweigh the losses.
Here are the Christmas bonuses you can expect when your children grow up a bit.
The build-up to Christmas
When your children are in primary school the march to the end of term is long, exhausting and expensive. You will be expected to make outfits, buy festive jumpers, attend nativity plays and write cards for all of the reception class because your child gave up after doing just three.
Once you’ve given something for the raffle, bought raffle tickets, donated to the teacher’s present, paid for tickets for the PTA Winterval festivities and then haemorrhaged money on terrible tat at said event, you will be broke and broken.
All this while being expected to work out hilarious japes for that ridiculous Elf on the Shelf.
When your children are in secondary school you are vaguely aware they’ll be breaking up soon. Nothing much at all is required of you. In fact, your low-maintenance children are happy with an advent calendar and can even be trusted to decorate the tree.
They no longer eagerly await Father Christmas
I know what you’re thinking – how is this a good thing?
For starters, there are no more challenging questions about the magical and mysterious logistics of Father Christmas which leave you feeling like you’ve been interrogated by the Stasi.
You’re also off the hook when it comes to seeing the Big Man himself. No more freezing in some farmers’ market or blowing money on a heinously overpriced department store ‘Santa’.
Christmas morning
Christmas Day for parents of small children starts at 4.12am.
Rather than feeling magical the day is spent in a fog of sleep deprivation and wondering what to do now all the presents have been opened (and discarded) by 9.30am. Peppa Pig is on, back to back, and you’re grinding your teeth. Meanwhile, teens, famous for loving sleep, are not likely to make an appearance before 9am. When they do, they will be at their most lovable: dishevelled, bleary-eyed and hungry.
Food
Older children love the food you’ve spent hours preparing and cooking. Younger children will love it too as long as you’ve carefully catered for their diva demands and taken into account what they love when it comes to taste, shape, colour and textures.
Gone are the days when I managed to just about get down three mouthfuls before a child needed attending to.
No more dealing with dropped plates, spilt drinks and a crying child. Instead, it’s an actual Christmas meal.
Presents
Teens are much clearer about what they wanted in the first place and overjoyed to get it. They don’t spend the entire time playing with the cardboard box and make you wonder why you spent all that money in the first place.
Television
One of the real joys of parenting older children is watching, and really enjoying, the same television.
I no longer have to sit through something made by Pixar for the thousandth time. Instead I get to squeeze onto the sofa with my children and enjoy BBC’s spectacular Ghosts, or revisit Friends (Gen Z love it) and even watch a non-animated film.
It’s Christmas, but on the easy setting. And we need a day like that this year more than ever.
Read more Parenting Truths from Emilie Silverwood-Cope every month in the Cambridge Independent.
