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Paul Kirkley: Help, I think I’m suffering from smugpression, plus making Britain boring, #partygate and town v crown

So, in the least surprising plot twist since Sleeping Beauty said “I’m just going for a lie down”, it turns out that Boris Johnson is a liar. (And before anyone writes in, I don’t think we need to wait for a report by Sue Gray, Sue Ellen, Sue Barker, Runaround Sue, A Boy Named Sue or anyone else to tell us that, do we?)

A feeling of smugpression
A feeling of smugpression

I mean, who could possibly have seen this coming? Apart from literally everyone – including, if they’re honest, most of the people who voted for him.

It’s at this point that those of us who’ve spent years pointing out Johnson’s chronic unfitness for public office – because he’s twice before been sacked for lying, because he conspired to have a journalist violently beaten up, because his entire Brexit ‘strategy’ was built on a tottering pile of untruths, and so on – should be practising our smuggest, most triumphant “I told you so” faces. Except, of course, that we have to live in the mess he’s created, just like everyone else.

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