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Paul Kirkley: Minister for mumbo-jumbo makes no sense





So this is Christmas (nearly), and what have you done? Not much, if you’re asking. What with the nippy weather, I’ve mainly been lying on the sofa, eating crisps and watching Peston. Or shouting at Question Time.

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and Foreign Secretary Lord David Cameron during a meeting of the new-look Cabinet following a reshuffle. Picture: Kin Cheung/PA
Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and Foreign Secretary Lord David Cameron during a meeting of the new-look Cabinet following a reshuffle. Picture: Kin Cheung/PA

On which note, several weeks on, I’m still mildly obsessed by last month’s government reshuffle. Specifically, the unexpected, Bobby Ewing in the shower-style reappearance of David Cameron – a rare example of a rat returning to a sinking ship – and the appointment of Esther McVey as the new “minister for common sense”.

Apparently, it will be Ms McVey’s job to “speak up for working people” by tackling The Scourge of Woke (© all right-wing newspapers). But why stop there? If Rishi Sunak is really that desperate for some red meat to throw against the red wall, might I suggest future appointments could include a Minister for You Can’t Say Anything These Days; a Minister for People Who Never Wore Sea Belts and It Never Did Us Any Harm; a Minister for Proper Food, None of that Foreign Muck; a Minister for People Who Say Could Of Instead of Could Have; a Minister for Leave Means Leave; a Minister for Well That’s What They Said on GB News; a Minister for People Who Use The Laugh-Cry Emoji; a Secretary of State for Education (School of Hard Knocks and University of Life Department) and a new Chief of the Defence Staff to protect the UK from the War on Christmas (Especially All Those Supermarket Adverts With Diverse Families).



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