Paul Kirkley: I’m exhausted – and it’s only February

So, here we are then. 2024. How’s it working out for you so far? A sense of creeping anxiety set against a background hum of existential dread? Or is that just me?

As an experiment to pass the long, dark days of January, I thought I’d try keeping a record of all the most deranged nonsense to emerge from the mouths and brains of our so-called government, and the wider ruling party. Not realising – naively, perhaps – that this would turn out to be a full-time job. But here goes.

The year got off to a flying start when, four years after we left the EU, someone finally identified one of those fabled, unicorn-style ‘Brexit benefits’ we’ve all been holding out for, as it emerged that Brits will now be able to buy… (wait for it) pints of wine. Which you might think is a pathetically small reward for all that political and financial ruin – but hey, who in modern Britain doesn’t feeling like drowning their sorrows in a vat of pinot grigio most nights?